Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Negative People

The other day, I came across a friend who was complaining about a friend and this got me thinking....

Negative people. I'm talking about those people who are always negative and critical of other people. You know the type. They are always commenting on others and seem to only have critical comments of other people. They HAVE to put others down. Why is that?

I believe that most of these people really can't help it. They have such a negative view of themselves, that they have to attack others in order to verify their own existence. It makes them feel good. Why? There are many reasons why but I think the majority were probably abused, verbally and/or physically, while growing up or later on as an adult. They might be "ugly", or overweight, or have been in abusive relationships. They might have had verbally abusive parents who were always put them down, always telling them how "wrong" they are or how "bad" they are. Their spouse or partner might have been the domineering type who always kept them under the thumb. There are many possible reasons why they are this way but deep down inside, I think its the same for all of them. They have no positive self worth. They simply believe they are "bad".

The mind is most powerful. Mind over matter. And, if the mind constantly tells you that you are wrong or bad etc... it becomes lodged in your psyche and can become a lifelong burden. Changing it is hard and is sometimes impossible to do. However, it can be done. It's not easy, and could require years of hard work or therapy, but it can be done. The mind is the most powerful. Feed it constantly with positive thoughts and eventually it MIGHT become lodged in the psyche. Hence, a change for the good.

On the other hand, there are also those who have chemical imbalances (that's a whole other post!) that cause them to be negative. It's when the chemicals in our body are so out of whack, it causes one to act and think completely irrational. This chemical imbalance effects our brain and it's thought process. Remember, our body is made up of chemicals and it has to have the correct balance to function properly. The chemical imbalance can be caused by many factors. The above factors could cause it, stress can cause it as well as many others that I haven't mentioned. However, A chemical imbalance can cause some really bad behavior and/or even criminal behavior. It can also cause one to lose their self worth, hence a negative view of themselves and the world around them. Depressive and manic depressive people have a chemical imbalance. It is more prevalent nowadays than is known.

How to change it? I would think that by changing the diet, one can cause change in balance to bring it more into the "acceptable" range. This seems simple enough, but it's probably not. Meditation is another possible way to change our chemical make up. Of course, most people don't even know the structure of the chemicals in their body. Why? Most regular doctors don't think about it when dealing with an illness. Most have been trained to prescribe medication rather than having the blood checked. (the band aid approach) Also, I'm not sure this view is even accepted by the "regular" medical community or given its proper respect.

I have compassion for these people. REAL compassion, not that fake "Bush Compassion" garbage. Now, I don't necessarily want to hang around them because I like to surround myself with positive people but I do feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that they are not able to enjoy life. I feel sorry that they are not able to "accept themselves" (see last post) as they truly can be. I feel sorry that life is so hard for them. I wish I could help them.

So, when you come across these "negative" people, try to understand where they are coming from. Show a little compassion even in the face of their negative comments. Just don't tell them you feel sorry for them! Remember, it could happen to anybody: You, me, anyone. I sometimes tell myself how lucky I am.....

We all know people like this.

Negative People.

right or rong?


Susanno said...

Great write there..

Thx for sharing


jon be me said...

thanks very much.... glad you enjoyed it. I try to share my experiences and thoughts in hopes of all of us learning. It's a two way street though! Do you have a website?
Cheers? Mmmm, must be british!

genny said...

Nice post... Thanks for the share.

jon be me said...

Oh no....THANK YOU, genny.
Glad you enjoyed it.

champ said...

Agree with you...most of the people are like this. But all this happened as we don't think what we are saying...we are more interesting what the other is doing, if we act on ourself...this will not happen.

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