Monday, October 1, 2007

Let it go....

On Saturday, I was reading a post in Sophia’s “light of the world” blog (I recommend it) about thoughts. In a nutshell, it talked about avoiding negative thoughts and keeping the positive thoughts. Well, that got me thinking….

When I was younger (long time ago!), I went through a phase where I took a good, hard honest look at myself and where I was at, as far as my character/personality was concerned. I said to myself, “OK, here are your strengths and here are your weaknesses. The positive points, I don’t have to worry about because, THEY ARE POSITIVE!” Duh! It seemed like a no brainer to me at the time. Continuing, I thought, “Ok, now these are the negative aspects about me. These are what I will concentrate on. These are what I need to work on. I want to work on changing these negative points into positive ones. If not changing them into positives, I will at least get rid of them.” So, I spent the next couple of months concentrating on the negatives. On an almost daily basis, I was thinking of these negative points and how I could change them.

Can you guess what eventually happened?

No, they did not change as I had hoped. Eventually, thinking “negative” every day finally caught up to me. Mentally (and physically, too) that is. I noticed that I had developed a negative outlook toward life and had become depressed. Why? It finally dawned on me. I was only thinking negative thoughts. Day in and day out, I thought about the negative. In my honest attempt at change, I was only concentrating on the negatives and had put the positive aspects of me in the background. I was not a happy camper!

So, at that point, I made a change. I no longer looked at the negatives about me; No longer thought about my negative aspects. No, I didn’t just think “positive” thoughts either. No, actually, I got rid of both the negative and positive! (Detachment?) I just stopped worry about changing. I LET IT GO!

I decided that I was a good enough person, that inside my heart, I meant well and hey, that was good enough for me. After all, I was a human, and it’s human nature to have some flaws in our personalities. To have some faults. Right? No body is perfect and neither was I. Why then should I spend so much energy in trying to become “perfect?” More important, to me, was that “goodness” in my heart. I knew that I was “good enough” and that I meant well in all my actions.

So, since that day, I no longer worry about it. To this day, I still don’t worry about the minute details of my character/personality etc... Whatever you want to call it. Instead, I prefer to focus on the “Big Picture” (will address that in a future post) because in my heart, I know that I am “OK!”

Do I still want to improve? Of course! Do I want to be perfect? Who doesn’t? But, it comes down to accepting ourselves as we are. Mistakes and all. Another benefit: when we accept ourselves as we are, it’s also much easier to accept others as they are. Then, we can live a less stressful life - a more peaceful life with a serene mind. Furthermore, with that serene feeling inside, it also becomes easier to “hear” the signs coming from our soul as it prompts us for growth and “growth” is the key to the purpose (future post) of our lives.

You have to take a good, hard honest look at yourself in determining ones strengths and weakness’. After all, who knows us better, really, than ourselves? And then …


(Sing along…. ”Oh, Let it be…”)

right or rong?


Rambler said...

totally right..
nice post, very nice one.

I have gone through almost all those phases, I think I finally stuck with working on negatives thing. I know what are my positives, and my negatives, so try to think positive about changing your negatives, it really works.

jon be me said...

Thanks Rambler,
In my case, I was stuck on dwelling on the negatives, which proved to be harmful for me. Now, I'm just fine!! (just don't ask my wife about that!!)

Sophia said...

Right on, Jon! This post and my thoughts were really in tune with one another. I was thinking of things I would say in my comment, when in the next paragraph you had already said them! Such as, thinking negative thoughts, even when you're thinking about the things you want to change about yourself that are negative, will backfire and create all kinds of negative energy. It's kind of like The Law of Attraction! And also, the fact that once you accept yourself you can more easily accept others. Looks like you've done a fine job, because you've already done the hard part, which is accepting yourself!

jon be me said...

Thanks Sophia,
This post was inspired by your post!! I think the hardest thing for most people to do is to simply "accept" themselves. Without this acceptence, people develop a lot of useless "head" games within themselves.

Rafa said...

Hia!! Well, Id just to say that i will try to writte my thoghts (?) in my mother language (spanish) and after it i will translate it to english (my inglish, sorry) due im from Spain, Europe.

In this post i only wanted to add that sometimes these negative aspects could come from other persons, not only from ur self; i call them something "energy vampires" lets say.

Firstly i would like to apologize about my written english: sorry (its even worse since i try to learn some German!).

Ok, in my expirence u can control what YOU think but u can not control the others ideas, which is good in a way but bad if they dont stop to soak up ur brain.

Zum Beispiel (i.e.), i had a friend while i was working in the UK who was always COMPLAINIG about EVERY SINGLE THING in her life there. I tried to tell her to think positive but it doesnt work: why? i dont know, but the final resoult of that situation was me getting those thoughts, getting grey (i would say black, if u understand that).

The question i drop down is "What could i do then", i mean, she was a good friend but there was no option to take her to the "light side of the force" (i dont know if thas right in english).

Was hard but i had to quit with that life and come back to Spain. My concluson is: sometimes hard desisions are right.

I intended to be the "other side of our minds there", Jon, and i hope u will appreciate that ;-)



RP said...

Blog on........
The problem with our minds is they think they are all powerful. There is so much more life/ energy out there. But that judgment is just another judgment . To see how our petty judgments starve us of life is to move. Of course we need some standards, but that's a matter of personal preference.

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