Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Wine and Water

Recently, a group of highly respected scientists performed 2 strictly controlled experiments at WE-BS'n. In the first of these *double blind controlled studies, participating scientists discovered that if they drank 1 liter of common drinking water per day, at the end of a years time, they would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria (E.coli) into their bodies. This bacterium is commonly found in feces. Translated, this means that in drinking one liter of water a day they were consuming approximately 1 kilo of poo poo....

In the second, strictly controlled *double blind experiment, another group of participating scientists discovered that upon drinking 1 liter of red wine (or beer or Tequila, Rum, Vodka, Whiskey or other Liquor) a day, they did not encounter the same risks involved with drinking water because alcohol has to go through a special, highly controlled, age old purification process consisting of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Thus, no poop. Furthermore, the majority of the participating scientists in this 2nd experiment discovered an inner, spiritual awakening during the tests. Oh, and they often spoke to God the day after for some unknown reason....


Conclusion of the Study:
Water = Poop, Wine = Health, Spirituality

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of crap.

Quoting Ben Franklin: “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

Moral of the story? Drink more wine....

This public service message brought to you by JBM
*Double blind=both eyes were closed
:)

9 Comments:

Siegfried said...

I had an experience of enlightenment after drinking a liter of wine straight from the bottle.
I actually became everything and became God in person. What some people might call Megalomania. If I held on to it and kept thinking I was God or Jesus the Messiah after I sobered up, I would have been sent for psychiatric treatment or even diagnosed incurably insane. Fortunately I had become Buddhist, so I understood the experience perfectly. I was delusional.
About getting all these bacteria from water, perhaps you need them too. To ferment the poop and prepare it for consumption by other living organisms. Something like symbiosis, parasitism, etc.

Siegfried said...

Incidentally the Buddhist don't recommend mixing meditation with alcohol. As it can actually make you even more delusional.
The same applies to mixing meditation with beliefs. They can become fixed thru brainwashing and suggestion. The state of the meditator can become worse. Becoming insane instead of becoming enlightened. We have too many bad examples as a result of this. People playing God, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, and even Napoleon. Or Hitler.

Siegfried said...

The Dark of the Tao!

jim said...

I'm with Ben Franky on that one, he can keep the kite tho.

Double blind huh, both eyes closed, best way to see what's what when normal looking can't tell.

Think I'll have a glass of wine, thanks Jon, you have one too.

(Just goes to show you Jesus was no idiot!)

jon be me said...

Sieg, I was just having some fun. Never implied mixing meditation with drinking/drugs etc. I think we all know meditation is most effective with a clear head.

Agree with ya on mixing meditation with beliefs. For a true enlightenment to occur, one must have a blank mind when meditating and be open to all visions.

thanks for the comments Sieg.
Hope all is well with you.

jon be me said...

Jim,
werent you around back then, flying kites with ole Ben.....
:)

jim said...

Siegfried, wouldn't you say that meditation was beyond belief? No matter how you do it?

But you are so right, aren't you, about the insanity of already having decided before meditating yourself into conviction? I think so, even goes without saying, but not said enough! Sounds largely like a religious problem, and a capitalist one as well, even racism benefits surely, lol? Hitler indeed!

I try to stay out of corners, and I believe in turning water into wine!
Jon, My son is coming to europe to get away, from me for one, so he doesn't want to go there and meet anyone who knows me, lol, who can blame him, hell, I encourage him.

Benny F.?, I am getting a grudge against that guy, but then, everyone who writes is misunderstood, maybe he wasn't as I think?

takes money to own a kite, takes money to have nuclear energy, takes water to get wine, thank God for something.

jon be me said...

Jim,
about your son...haha, yea, I can believe it from what I know of you!!! I would want the same thing!
Besides, he probably doesn't want to hang around an old fart like, it would just remind him of you!!
Don't tell him about the hot 21yr old French babe who lives next door to us. She is a fashion model. Sure would hate for him to...

jim said...

I have been called an oldfart plenty of times, even by my mexican kids, lol, they are wonderful, all of them. This one would cancel everything for that babe you describe, I won't tell him, he gets in enough woman trouble on his own Jon. I might come see you though, what time does she get in?, lol.

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