No Time....

I saw a show on TV the other day and of course, it got me thinking...

It was about this couple and how they have "no time" for life and their 2 kids. That is...

Their day starts at 6am, make breakfast, wake up the kids, get dressed, drop the kids off at day center, go to work, grocery shop at lunchtime, pick up the kids in the pm, get food at McDonald's, be home at 730pm. Kids take bath, go to bed at 830pm. Repeat next day. Does this sound familiar to you?

What's rong with this picture about their daily life? Are they really happy? To me, many things are "rong" but I will only mention 2 important aspects.

First of all, this has got to wear down the parents health. All this running around causes undue mental stress that will eventually wear you down. Might even cause you to snap and hit your spouse/kids or worse. How sharp will you be to deal with your kids? Can you really handle it when the kids ask all the q's that kids do or will the daily grind cause you to unnecessarily snap at the kids for some innocent remark or action? How does it affect your relationship with your spouse when you are both worn out mentally and physically? All negative aspects.

Another thing, look at the schedule. How much time is there for the kids? Their kids are only with them for about, what, 2 hours a day? How much of this limited exposure is actually quality time? Or is it just "hurry up kids" time also? What effect does this have on the kids long term?

I don't know about you, but I want to spend quality time with my son. Even if its just being next to him doing nothing. I want to raise him, teach him about the world, be there to share in his curious mind and not have some, well intentioned as they may be, stranger raising them. Also, to deal with and give your children the due proper respect that they deserve, you have to have a clear mind. Daily stress causes a lot of issues between parents and kids and this shows up later in the children's' lives. (Look at your own relationship with your parents) You can read in the paper or see it on the nightly news, on a daily basis, about how it's causing a lot of kids to "act up" and/or lose it. Kids NEED time with their parents (and I need time with my son!) Think long term, people!

Are we here to work or to live? Yea, I know we have to work in order to pay our bills and buy things but where is the balance? What is the limit? To me, most people put too much priority on obtaining "material goods". (I'm not talking about the poor souls who have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to survive) It seems like, for these people, their priority is in "buying things" to feel good about themselves, to look good on the outside or to keep the kids happy. I think this is a major problem in society as a whole, but even more so in the states than anywhere else on earth and its spreading like a disease!.

Myself, I only work enough as I have to in order to pay the bills and have some left over to "splurge" once in a while. I prefer spending my time being with my wife and son. THEY are my priority along with my nuclear family and my friends. Material things like new cars, new and bigger TV's, the latest toys, nice furniture etc...are secondary to TIME with family and friends. I have many friends in the states who do not have time to spend with their family or friends because they are too busy working. They do not have time to visit other "friends" nor do they have time to be visited. Hurry, hurry hurry! They work more and more to make even more money to buy more "goods" to make themselves feel good. Unfortunately, this does not help the situation: stress, stress, stress. Sorry, but your family and friends, your "real friends", don't care whether you have the latest fashions or "junk". No, they care about you, the real you not the one behind the shiny mask.

Materialism over all! I don't have anything against "things", but it's the priority that is messed up. Our body, mind and soul do not need an over abundance of material goods. Our children do not always need the latest or biggest ... whatever. To be really happy and healthy, we need more time with our family, with our kids and with our friends. Slow down and MAKE THE TIME!

I sometimes ask people, "when you are on your death bed and reflect back on your life, will you remember the material stuff or will you remember, or regret, the time spent with family and friends?" I believe most people will reflect on their family and friends.

Look at the "big picture".

Work to live not live to work.

right or rong?

Stress related or Depression?

We’ve all heard that saying, “It’s not what happens to you in life that counts, It’s how you deal with it that counts.” Right? Well that got me thinking….

I know this girl. She’s a great person, nice to be around and has a great heart. She really cares about what happens to other people. She has a great sunny personality…when things are going good.

On the other hand, as soon as things start getting tough, as soon as stress is factored into her life, she becomes a totally different person. The “Devil” in her comes out.

Recently, she has been under a lot of stress “again” and this little devil has overtaken her personality. From the nice person she is, to a royal pain in the _ _ _! Nobody wants to be around her. Nobody can talk to her because she will just argue with you no matter what the subject or the reasoning.

I feel sorry for her because I know she can’t help it. She just plain get so overwhelmed by this negative anger (is there positive anger?) that she doesn’t know what to do about it. She is aware of it while it’s happening but can’t control it. Isn’t that one of the worse feelings in the world: being in a situation where you have absolutely no control over it?

No, it’s not PMS as I’m sure some of you are thinking. I can count on it happening every week or two and lasting from a day to five days. Could it be that “chemical imbalance” I was talking about in a previous post? She thinks so. Could it be her diet? She doesn’t think so. (She does eat well) Could it just plain be that she is someone who can’t deal with stress once it reaches a certain level and it takes a while before the pressure resides again? Perhaps she is afraid of something and the stress brings it to the forefront? Or is it something, some long unresolved issue deep inside her that is released time and again when the chemicals within our body change due to? I have talked to her many times about this situation, with suggestions ranging from meditation, positive thinking, quit smoking and other alternative treatments etc... No luck. She has even, in the past, seen “doctors”, from mainstream to holistic, but with the same results. To sum it up, all the various attempts she has tried to curtail these “explosions”, have all failed.

I’ve even suggested that maybe it’s a learning opportunity. Maybe this is a chance for the soul to grow by overcoming this challenge confronting her. Remember, spiritual growth is obtained by overcoming our challenges and fears. And occasionally, on our path to growth, the soul will conjure up opportunities specifically for us to confront and challenge in order to attain that growth.

Or, maybe, it’s actually an opportunity for me to overcome one of my “weaknesses” and she is just the unfortunate messenger? MMMmmm….

What do you think?

Is this stress related or....Clinical Depression....or.....